So many words, not enough focus

My personal challenges I presented myself for self improvement have went a little to the wayside, but not far. While they haven’t been a sole focus, I’ve been finding myself working on them subconsciously, which is so awesome because it means I’m doing the thing!

  1. EYE MASK – I had fallen out of the habit of applying this, but it’s been a regular part of my day again. Every morning, every night. Unfortunately, the chalazion has actually grown to the point of constant irritation, and while I’m continuing the eye treatments in hopes that it DOES improve, first, I’ve been referred to an ophthalmologist to get it lanced. We’ll see how long that takes, and which treatment ends up winning out.
  2. DRINK MORE WATER – also a success! I’ve been getting my 3 litres in every day, which has helped everything else improve just that littlebit to make a difference.
  3. YOGA – not so much success here, but that’s not intentionally. While my head MRI came back normal, I’ve brought up the possibility of a CSF leak with my internist, because the symptoms fit SO WELL. He admitted to not knowing much about it and is reading up on it, but in case it IS a CSF leak, I’ve opted out of as asana practice for the time being, since the poses can encourage more leakage. Instead, I’ve been slowly increasing my activity levels where possible (which, in cold weather, is easier said than done. But – not impossible.)
  4. SELF MASSAGE – this is technically next week’s focus, however, I am picking this up a little more each week. It’s not daily, yet, but it’s happening more often again, at least.

So, what’s next? I’d say that I’ve been fairly successful with my goals thus far. There’s some room for improvement, though. My next list should last me until the end of February.

  1. STRENGTHENING EXERCISES – My muscle mass has deteriorated so badly, and this is especially prevalent in my hips and knees. They ache so much again, and my knee is showing instability again. It’s time to work on building that up again. Thankfully, this one isn’t new to me, and I’ve found my physio exercises from the last couple of years that are specifically for my hips. Back to square one!
  2. SELF MASSAGE – I can do better on this one, so I’m putting it back into rotation.
  3. CRAFTING – It’s not unreasonable to bring at least one crafted item to completion in a week. Sometimes that might be a decal, or a bracelet, or a mala – but this is the kind of thing I thrive on, and I want to make it a focus.
  4. READ DOG BOOKS – I spend way too much time on social media reading, and my eyes get tired by mid day and reading a book is harder. This needs to be swapped, so that my effort is spent more on the books to prepare myself for the puppy we’re getting, and less time on social media, which drives me bonkers anyways.
  5. CALL PEOPLE – I am TERRIBLE at reaching out to others to talk to them. I just don’t do it, and people tend to call me, instead. I think this is a really good thing to change up, so that I’m actually the one to call someone else for once.

I have so many things I want to write about – Trump, accountability, Gillette, appropriation, MeToo….. but I don’t have the focus or energy, really. I sit down to start, and my mind goes completely it’s own way and nothing makes sense.

Maybe it just isn’t meant to be shared. And that’s ok, too. I have enough things to focus on with my own things.

Be well, friend. Hari Om.


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